Under the Influence of Me

Set backs..Setups!

So I started my weight loss journey with a juice cleanse that lasted all of 36 hours!!!

We planned to go on for 10 days…but our bodies had other ideas. There were many reasons that this cleanse didn’t last..

• making enough juice for two people to live off of everyday takes a ridiculous amount of time (time I could just be working out..eh)
• I don’t do well with starving..especially when I feel sick from my blood sugar going all loopy. It’s one thing to be hungry and it’s another thing to feel like you are going to go into a diabetic coma when you drink the juice or pass completely out inbetween juices.
• I was experiencing NO “good” detox symptoms…and didn’t have any of the elimination “activities” that others talk about.. In fact, the first 24 hours I didn’t even “go”. :(
• After 36 hours I couldn’t even smell juice without gagging!

It was all just a horrible experience that I ended with a nice humanely raised organic burger!!

Now I am on to eating healthy, watching the carbs and processed food, increasing my veggie intake, counting calories, keeping a food journal and drinking more water. I’m also working on getting my girlfriend to join a gym with me..but she hates gyms so that might be a no go as a couples activity :(

Slow and steady wins the race.. that’s what I’m telling myself!!

Losing it.

It’s been a minute huh? Its been a minute for a lot of things.

My life has been crazy…lots of ups and downs and changes. One huge change is how fat I’ve gotten!

I weighed myself today at work for this biggest loser competition we are doing…I’ve gained almost 50lbs since 2009… 70lbs since 2007….90 lbs since 2005.

I’ve had a lot of life changes since then…finished undergrad, finished grad school, moved from Nashville to St Louis, moved from St. Louis to LA, I’ve had 3 gfs, 6 apartments, 4 jobs all of which coupled with self indulgent eating habits, comfort food, celebratory sweets, and lots of beer to get me through has made for a very chubby me.

I’ve fallen victim to both stress and emotional eating over the past 2 years especially. Stress from moving across country, being unemployed and then being employed at the worlds most cut throat organization ever. (a blog for another time) and the emotional eating…uh…yeah it’s amazing how much terrible food you can tolerate when you are in an emotionally abusive relationship and going through a breakup. 

It’s not just the number on the scale that bothers me…it’s the constant need for new clothes, the inability to tie my shoes without threat of passing out, just feeling uncomfortable…period. So I’m losing it…the weight.

I’m going to take some drastic, life altering and dedicated measures to get back to a weight that I feel comfortable with… Bc lord knows I love me some big girls…I just don’t think my body was made to be one.(If I was this size and not nose deep in health problems and aches and pains I would just tell that scale to go to hell!)

Stay tuned for all the juicing, detoxing and eating clean!!